


Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

by SocialDisease609



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Dark fic, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Pushing, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, I'll add more tags later, antagonist faith, bliss dependancy, but at least you know she has a motivation and is not an "I'm evil because I'm just evil" villain, but in this fic she's not lmao, doesn't make it okay, in the game you can wonder if Faith was being honest or not, it's a tragedy really, not romanticizing drugs, not romanticizing emotional manipulation, she really did have a bliss problem, she's just trying to ensure her own survival, they're just Faith's canon weapons of choice, using my bliss-addicted Rook as inspiration for this fic, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25661800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SocialDisease609/pseuds/SocialDisease609
Summary: DARK FICI'm gonna be upfront- this is VILLAIN Faith.This is a story about how Faith manipulates Rook into surrendering to the Cult. So everything she does is WRONG. I LOVE Faith, and as much as I want redemption fics for her, I wanted to keep her an antagonist for this. So, without further ado:At the risk of losing her role as Faith (and possibly her life), Rachel Jessop works hard to trick Rook into abandoning the Resistance. And if that means she has to lie and pretend to love the officer in order to do so, so be it!
Relationships: Female Deputy | Judge/Faith Seed
Comments: 39
Kudos: 64





	1. Just Breathe

The wooden crates crackled and snapped at the fire’s will, the smell of charring Bliss petals carrying on the wind. Deputy Alana Rook casually leaned against one of the posts that supported the overhang roof, and crossed her arms, her eyes completely focused ahead of her towards the dancing of the flames.

She sniffed roughly, bringing her arm across her nose, the brown leather of the jacket dragging across her skin. Burning Bliss always made her nose irritable. She would have stepped away from the crates and removed herself from the smoke, but she knew it was best to keep an eye on the flames, not wanting the element to become greedy and consume not only the reclaimed outpost, but the surrounding expanse of nature. She had enough on her hands already, and a wildfire was not something that needed to be added.

As she watched the white petals curl in on themselves, crisping and shrinking to the orange glow, her mind wandered. She thought about trivial things: how long it took to grow Bliss, how many people had come out to plant the endless fields of it across the Henbane region, and how exactly Faith Seed had developed it. From a strategic perspective, Alana could appreciate her opponent for being successful. Drugs were drugs, Alana knew that, but there was something intriguing and hard to ignore about someone who had conquered their battle with drugs only to use their experience and knowledge on substances to make their own. One that she had power of and wielded against others.

The deputy also knew that that was the nature of the beast. Drugs held people, made them easy to control if you were the pusher. It’s all about getting that next hit, because without it, they wouldn’t be able to focus or feel happy, or escape whatever it was they were running away from, not knowing that they were going from one devil to the next.

“You ready to hit the road again?” Sheriff Whitehorse asked, stepping out of the back door of the old shop. “Got plenty of other places that need assistance.”

Rook took a deep sigh, knowing that there was no way she’d be able to keep the smoke from carrying into her lungs, and caught the last surviving scent of the fresh drug. It hit her senses like nostalgia. She could taste it faintly on her tongue, feel it fill her nostrils with the ghost of its flowery scent, and her head felt slightly lighter.

“You got someone to watch the fire?” Rook asked, not taking her eyes off the Bliss.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” muttered the Sheriff, patting his pockets as if the person was in there like spare keys. Alana hadn’t worked for the Sheriff’s department long, but she knew body language well- the old man simply responded that way because he hadn’t assigned someone to watch the fire, and reflexively expressed a forgetful motion because he simply forgot that was something that should have been done.

“You, there!” the Sheriff pointed to a random Resistance fighter, who looked back at him, startled, “Keep an eye on this here fire. We don’t need it destroying anything that isn’t Bliss, you understand?” 

“Yes, Sheriff,” responded the fighter eagerly, holding his AK close to his chest as if the Sheriff had bestowed it himself.

Rook took another sigh as she pushed herself off the post, resentful that this fighter was so young. Of course, Rook herself was in the prime of her youth, but there was a difference between her adult self and this … boy. Perhaps he was eighteen, and fit to fight, but he looked all about to be fourteen, and one of the things that bothered Alana the most about worldly events was the loss of youth. Children forced to fight, Children choosing to fight once they became ‘of age’- it was all the same to her. People should die in old age, she believed, and the way things were going with Eden’s Gate, there were too many people to count who had lost their lives early- on both sides of the battlefield. If all this shit didn’t exist, what could those people have contributed to the world? Even if just on a local scale? The world only gets worse when people are stolen because of someone else’s game, and that was that to Alana.

“Let’s hit the road, Sheriff,” Rook grumbled. She turned around to enter the building through the door that the Sheriff had just used moments ago, and as she stepped in, her brain felt a shock as a familiar scent crept through her nose.

“Whoa there,” awkwardly chuckled Whitehorse behind her. “I thought I gave the orders around here?”

Alana knew the Sheriff was just making a joke, resorting to normal-life hierarchy for the sake of a laugh, but she couldn’t find any humor. Not with a bundle of Bliss hanging on the wall next to the door. She could see her vision fill with those sickening stars, and the vibrant vibrations of blue and red blending together just from this small bouquet. She stood stiff, irritated by the surprise, her head hanging down and eyes squeezing tight to fight her impairment- and reached out with her right hand, her fingers crushing the petals and snapping the stems.

“Oh! Some Bliss!” The Sheriff chuckled. “Best to add that to the fire!”

Rook ripped the bundle from its string and nail against the wall, the sudden jerking startling her superior. She turned on her heels, to which Whitehorse quickly stepped out of her way, watching his deputy briskly walk back to the fires.

“These fucking flowers!” Alana grumbled, tossing them into the inferno.

“Hey,” came Whitehorse firmly, “Hey.” He gripped Alana’s wrist tightly, enough to signal to her that he wanted her serious attention, but not to cause any pain.

Alana’s brown eyes met his. The Sheriff quietly scanned her face for a moment. The usually relaxed and carefree expression of his greenhorn deputy was now heavy with exhaustion. Dark bags formed under her eyes, and her mouth was weighted by a frown.

“How about I take the wheel this time?” He offered gently. “You need some rest.”

“I’m fine,” Alana said, standing up straighter, as if that would be enough to convince the Sheriff of her readiness.

“You’re burnt out, Rook,” Whitehouse gruffed, “It happens to the best of us. You’re riding shotgun, and that’s an order. We’re gonna head back to the jail, and call it a night.”

“But we still got-”

“The Resistance is stronger than ever these days, thanks to your hard work,” The Sheriff interrupted. “You don’t need to do everything yourself.”

“It sure feels like it…” Rook grumbled to herself, and the Sheriff heard the comment, but chose to ignore it.

“The Resistance won’t let the Cult regain ground, everything will be okay if you hang up your hat early today, and that’s exactly what you’re gonna do. Now come on, get in.”

* * *

Whitehorse knew it was a bit of a risk, but he took the long way back to the jail. Rook had leaned her head against the window of the truck, gently wobbling with the movement of the journey, and soon, dozed off to sleep. Good… that’s what he wanted to happen. Rook needed to rest, and he couldn’t guarantee that the young woman would stick to her room once they made it back. At least now, he knew she was getting some rest, even if it was just half an hour.

When they pulled up and went their respective ways, Whitehorse made a call.

“I’m worried about Rook,” he said into the office phone at the jail’s front desk. “She’s taking too much on herself and refuses to rest. I’m worried… I’m worried she’s going to slip up. She’s too burnt out, she’s gonna get hurt if she doesn’t rest. Maybe a friendly conversation will go well for her… there’s only so much I can do, you know? No really opens up to their boss… yeah, yeah, definitely. Thanks, Hudson. See you in a few.”

When Hudson arrived, Alana’s face did lighten up, much to the Sheriff’s relief.

“Joey!” She opened her arms wide as she approached her partner, who just as happily filled them in return. “God, what are you doing here? I thought you were holding down the fort in Fall’s End?”

“It’s been awfully quiet in Holland Valley,” Hudson murmured against Rook’s collar before they departed from their hug. “I think it’s safe to say the Cult’s been fully expelled from the region. There hasn’t been a Peggie running around there for about five days.”

“Well that’s great!” Grinned Alana, taking a step back to appraise Hudson. “Gosh, you look great! All bruises and cuts completely healed?”

“Yeah, a hundred percent healed,” Joey nodded. “Even cleaned my uniform! Don’t know about you, but there’s something about having crisp clothes that makes you feel better. Therapeutic, I guess.” 

“Yeah, absolutely,” Rook agreed. “Wish I could wear mine. Guess I don’t need to be blending in anymore, everyone knows who I am. Maybe I’ll give Dutch a call, not sure if he actually burned it… I kinda miss the green…” Alana’s hand plucked off a small ball of lint off of Hudson’s sleeve as she said this.

“Hell yeah, get it,” Joey encouraged. “Then we can go grab Pratt and Burke, then end this like we started: together.”

At this Alana’s lips thinned for a moment. “I don’t want you guys getting hurt again…”

“Listen, Rook, nobody saw this shit coming. Like, yeah, we knew Peggies were fucking nuts, but their… zeal… we definitely underestimated that. I mean- I’m pretty sure that Peggie threw their body into the blades of the helicopter to fuck us. But now,” Hudson sighed, “We know what we’re really dealing with, and I think the old team can take these psychos.”

“Maybe…” Rook shrugged.

“Hey, look, wanna get a drink? Sit on the wall or something, have a moment just you and me?”

“Yeah,” Rook nodded, rubbing her eyes aggressively. She felt so sleepy all of a sudden.

The two grabbed a couple bottles and took them to the most secluded part of the security wall.

“So, how have you been feeling lately?” Hudson asked, twisting the cap off the beers with her bare hands, seething just a little.

Alana was silent for a good moment, taking a long draught of her beer. When she pulled the bottle away from her lips with a gasp, she looked over to Hudson, who was watching her carefully.

“In all honesty, between you and me… I feel terrible,” she sighed. “I feel like I’ve been able to handle everything so far, but ever since… ever since I came to the Henbane, I’ve just been different. I can’t focus, I’m tired and then completely wired moments later. I’m caring less and less about strategy when it comes to a fight. I feel so reckless and irritable. Like… I’ve had my normal share of natural mood swings in my life, but I just feel… done, but I know I can’t give up. I feel like…” Alana paused. “Eh, forget it.”

“No, you feel like what?” Joey softly prodded.

Alana frowned, ashamed at her own feelings, “I feel like no one will let me give up. If that makes sense. Not that I just want to turn tail or anything, but like… I feel like everyone just wants it to be me to do everything. Clear this outpost, find my weird science shit, go pick up these vehicles, kill this person for me. I’m just a fucking errand boy, and like… it’s fucking stupid, Joey, don’t worry about it. I just… I don’t mind helping, you know I like to, it’s just… I feel like I’m changing.”

“There’s nothing stupid about what you’re feeling, Alana,” Joey reached out to soothingly rub Rook’s back. “It sounds to me like you just need a break. Like all work, you have to take some time to yourself. And you know what, I’ve kept it to myself, but I’m glad you said it: everyone is just tacking job after job after job on you, and it bothers me. Yes, we’re here to help Hope County get back to normal, but you can’t pull the weight of all of Montana, and that’s another reason why I wanted to come here tonight. I want to take some of that stuff off your shoulders. I want to help you when you go out, I want to cut your shit in half. And, on top of that, I want the Sheriff to take some of your shit too. We came here as a goddamn team! The hell I’m gonna let you do this all yourself, and the hell am I gonna let the old man sit on his ass in this fortress while you’re out there. I’m dragging his ass out with us every day.”

Alana chuckled genuinely, the heaviness in her chest lightening just a bit, but she knew that there was more to her problem, she just didn’t have the heart to put it into words. It wasn’t just the weight of all these expectations on her, it was also the Bliss. Faith had poisoned her, and Alana was too embarrassed to seek help. She felt it was her own fault. She approached the Herald as Faith waited for her, in all her spectral glory. She reached out, thinking it was all a trick of the mind, and Faith took her. Took her to a place where there was no air, just the fumes of Bliss, and god, it no longer hurt to be exposed to its vapor, as it had in John’s bunker. Her body had welcomed the drug at an alarming rate, and Faith’s words… god, her words! Alana wanted to believe her, and in that moment, the deputy realized she loved the idea of Eden’s Gate- if only it wasn’t the violent community it truly was, she may have actually joined in that moment. That thought right there was what made Alana keep her mouth shut.

Leaning against Joey’s shoulder, Alana let herself be comforted, knowing there was no harm in a friend’s company. Maybe if she did let Joey help with all the crap happening in Hope County, she would be able to focus on the Bliss. She’d be able to give more attention to fighting Faith. To shake herself by the collars and shout _“She’s lying! She’s lying! She just knows what to say! It’s not true! Don’t believe her!”_

Faith truly was a siren, down to her voice, beauty and carelessly warm affection. All that had seized the deputy, making her heart beat wild and her lips parched for a kiss. To Alana’s own shame, she could recognize that she was teetering on the edge of becoming just like the sailors in old oil paintings, foolish enough to be tricked into the ocean deep. But Alana was wary of this daydream because she knew it was easy to fight what you already didn’t believe, but harder to fight what you never knew you were dying to hear. 

* * *

Faith sat in the chair at her desk, elbow leaning against the surface as she pressed the phone against her ear.

“Yes, Father,” she said softly into the receiver. “I understand, I know.”

The voice of the cult leader buzzed back into her ear, filling her with motivation laced with subtle threats.

“Yes, Father,” Faith repeated. Her weary malachite eyes gazed at the Bliss bundles hanging all over the walls, then to the beakers on a lab table, the pages of her research journal lightly flipping as the AC kicked on.

“I will save our family,” she continued, “do not worry. I shall avenge John’s death, and I will prevent Jacob’s. Trust me, Father, she will join our family…”

Joseph buzzed back in her ear, calm, but questioning.

“I have seen it in her eyes, Father,” Faith explained. “I spoke to her, face to face, peacefully. I believe John was wrong to threaten her. She will join our family through love, but John thought hurti-”

Joseph cut her off, and Faith closed her eyes as she listened to his disappointment.

“Yes, Father, forgive me,” Faith said quietly. “I did not mean to speak ill of the dead. Allow me to rephrase- the deputy was resistant to our family because she doesn’t respond positively to physical pain. This is why I am grateful that she came to me instead of Jacob. She responds to emotion and softness. When I took her to the Bliss, she listened to every word I said, and as I moved further into the world I created for her, she followed- _eagerly_. She kept reaching out, wanting to stay with me.”

Joseph’s voice buzzed again, his tone full of praise. Faith closed her eyes once more, smiling at this small reward. She only ever wanted to make her new family happy, but now that the Collapse was approaching ever nearer, happiness was hard to come by. _Capture the deputy_ , Joseph had told her. _Bring her to our family, make her an angel. Don’t let me down. I wouldn’t want to search for a new Faith so close to Collapse._

She wanted to believe he meant: _because if you are killed, I’ll have to find another Faith_ , but her mind recognized the threat, and told her he didn’t mean by the hands of the Deputy…

“Yes, Father, thank you,” Faith nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. “Allow me more time with her. I know she will keep trying to dismantle our strongholds, but she only does this out of a burdening sense of duty. I will keep seeing her. Soon, she will stop, and she will come to me, willingly.” 

* * *

Joey and everyone else had gone to bed, only night shift silently patrolled the walls of Hope County Jail. Alana however, was restless. She needed to move, she needed to run- she needed to do something. She checked out at the front, the guard documenting her departure. Rook didn’t intended to do anything really, she wasn’t going to look for the cult, but she… she couldn’t explain it- she needed air. She needed…

She stopped in her tracks as she walked on the side of the road, and even though there was no light, save for the moon and stars, Alana could see the Bliss field up on a hill, the large white petals practically glowing.

A shiver shocked her body lightly as her mind suggested to get closer. Alana bit her lip, knowing what was happening to her, but wouldn’t truly acknowledge it. If she didn’t put it in words, her suspicions wouldn’t be real, right? She climbed the hill, the steepness burning her calves, but she kept on. When she reached the top, she stared at the white lily-like flowers, the nighttime breeze picking up its scent and surrounding her with it. She couldn’t remember telling her body to do so, but she found herself stepping into the field, her mind cascading over with its rapid intoxication, and dropped to her knees.

She took a deep breath and let out a groan as she exhaled, deeply ashamed. Yet the shame wasn’t more powerful than the Bliss, so her knees stayed planted in the soil, her head hung heavy as she breathed and breathed.

“That’s right,” lovingly encouraged a gentle voice. “Breathe…”

Alana rolled her heavy head back up, trying to find the source.

“I’m right here,” said the voice again, soft warm hands gripping her shoulders from behind.

“Faith?” Alana murmured.

Faith hummed in acknowledgement, her hands sliding from Rook’s shoulders down her back, then over her ribs to come together under her sternum. Alana registered that the Siren was kneeling behind her.

“Let me show you a better way,” Faith whispered, her lips purposely tickling the shell of Alana’s ear. “Breathe with me.”

Faith’s chest was pressed against Alana’s back, and the deputy mumbled appreciatively at the warmth.

“In…” Faith instructed, both women’s chests rising together, holding the Bliss deep in their lungs for a few excruciating seconds, “Out…” Both women exhaled in unison, and Alana trembled in Faith’s arms as a delightful shiver took over her body and a pleasant saturation began to spread in her mind.

“ _Perfect_ ,” Faith praised gently, smiling against Alana’s ear. “Again.”

Once more they inhaled deeply, and Alana felt her head becoming heavier and heavier, her body becoming lighter and lighter. Upon the exhale, Faith praised her again.  
But then, Faith’s arms gripped her tighter and tighter, and an alarm went off in Rook’s mind. This was all wrong- this was a trap. Faith was slowly closing in on her like a venus fly trap, and she needed to leave before she completely secured her.

With the last bit of self-control she had, she pushed herself off the ground and stumbled out of the Bliss field, barely catching her footing.

“No!” Alana shouted, frantic. “I didn’t want this! I knew it was coming, I heard about the Bliss… but FUCK! I wanted to…” Alana’s volume trembled, falling soft. “… I thought I could fight it.”

Faith stood up slowly, watching her with mock sympathy on her face, yet a smile still curved at her lips.

“I knew you infected me, I knew you forced your drug upon me when you took me the other day, but God!” Alana pulled at her short brown hair in frustration. “I didn’t think it’d … _call_ to me. I didn’t think I would fall into it so easily.”

“Oh, Deputy,” Faith said in a cooing tone. “You craved it long before I took you into my home. I got it into you the night you arrived.”

Alana glared at her, confused, but expectant for more information.

“Both you and Burke crashed into my Henbane. I would have had you both, but you ran away from our help. When you fell in- into my beautiful, _Blissful_ Henbane- you drank it as you drowned.”

Alana was paralyzed by the statement, finding it hard to counter it.

“Don’t think too hard about it, Deputy,” Faith said, her light hostility disappearing. “It’s for your own good, it helps us all feel better.”

Alana began to slowly retreat, shaking her head in the negative.

“Goodnight, Deputy,” Faith smiled slightly. “I’ll see you soon.”

And just as instantly as she had appeared, she dissolved before Rook’s very eyes.

Shaken by everything, Rook rubbed her tired eyes and quickly made her way back to the Jail. 


	2. It's Just a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two specific Faith visitations! 
> 
> Slow and steady wins the race, Faith!  
> Poor Alana, easily taken in by loving touch.

The next day, Hudson did as she said she would, and figuratively dragged Whitehorse by the ear to accompany Alana on her next mission.

They patrolled the streets in a truck they borrowed from the Resistance, finding the radio stations that still broadcasted mainstream music. For a moment, Alana felt like life had gone back to normal.

The three of them cleared roadblocks and intervened every white van that crossed them, intent on putting a significant damper on the trafficking of potential Chosen, Judges, and Angels. 

When it came time for lunch, they found a random abandoned home, among many, and scoured through the cabinets.

Sighing, Alana sat down on the couch in the living room.

“You good, Rook?” Hudson asked, coming over to hand her a peanut butter sandwich.

“Yeah, just really tired…” Rook replied, her eyelids heavy.

“Sorry there isn’t anything better to eat, wasn’t much left in the pantry…” Hudson muttered taking a seat next to her.

“That’s fine…”

“Hey look,” Joey started, putting an arm around Alana's shoulder. “If you wanna take an hour or two to rest, that’s cool too. I’m sure Whitehorse won’t object.”

“It’ll be alright?” Alana asked, surrendering to a yawn.

“Absolutely,” Joey nodded, “come here…”

Hudson and Rook weren’t very close before Eden’s Gate, but there wasn’t any negative energy between them. Their closeness, however, had expedited from this whole ordeal, and both women fed off the aura of the other, feeling wonderfully safe around each other.

Because of this, Hudson didn’t find it odd that Alana leaned over to lay down across her lap, her head resting atop her thighs. Rook brought her legs up on the couch and assumed a fetal position as much as she could. With Hudson’s fingers instinctively combing through her hair, Alana let her eyes flutter, and fell asleep.

* * *

Alana wasn’t sure what to make of what she was seeing. She was in the house that Hudson and Whitehorse had chosen for lunch, but neither were present, just billowing clouds of bliss fog occupying each room.

“Hello, Deputy,” said a soft voice. Alana froze, goosebumps forming on her arms.

“Faith?”

“Listen, Deputy,” the Siren continued, revealing herself from around a door frame as she entered the living room, “I’ve been thinking about last night…”

“Is this real?” Alana demanded to know, pointing a warning finger at the woman, needing her to stay back.

Faith’s lips, lightly pink, gave a roguish.

“We're dreaming,” the Siren said.

“We?”

Faith walked closer to Alana in that carefree way that was uniquely her.

“This is your dream. You’re _lucid dreaming_ ,” she specified, still smiling, her voice tingling Alana's scalp. The deputy did not back away nor put up a hand to stop her, so Faith continued to close the space between them.

“… Lucid dreaming, huh?” Alana asked, an eyebrow raised. “That means I can do whatever I want?”

“ _Whatever you’d like_ ,” Faith repeated with pleasure on her tongue. Having Alana believe she was in control was paramount in this visit, yet it was still a dangerous strategy. If Alana believed Faith was a figment of her own subconscious, she’d either be more accepting to what she had to say, or quick to cause her harm. Giving the deputy a fake sense of control was just another step in the trust Faith was trying to build. This was a dream, but not a dream in Alana’s control. It was a Bliss induced dream, capable through Faith only. It only took one real Bliss hit for the Siren to sink her talons into anyone, and Alana had taken several last night.

Alana reached out cautiously, her hand landing on Faith’s shoulder. Intrigued and humored, the Siren cast her gaze down at the deputy's hand. Sensing no real danger, Alana took a step closer and trailed her hand from Faith’s shoulder to up her neck, her fingers stopping behind the Siren’s ear.

Faith watched, completely entertained at this surprising turn, yet kept her reaction from displaying on her face.

“ _Anything_ ,” Alana repeated softly, her eyes dropping to Faith’s mouth. Faith’s eyes narrowed with knowing, but didn’t pull away. Rook gently grazed the Siren’s bottom lip with her thumb.

“I see…” Faith breathed, just a little lightheaded herself. She suspected the deputy was emotionally driven, and while this proved her hunch, it also revealed much more.

“This is a dream, right?” Alana asked for confirmation once more, her eyes rising for a quick flicker to meet Faith’s. The green eyes of the Siren pierced into Rook's, daring her.

“… Yes.”

“Can I?”

Faith almost rolled her eyes, “It’s your dream, you can do as you please.”

“Even in a dream, you should check,” Alana said.

Faith shook her head as she giggled, resuming the seductive warmth she knew worked on so many, and reached up, draping both arms atop of Alana’s shoulders. She pulled the deputy closer to her, both women angling their faces just right, and started to kiss.

A simple press at first, slow and respectful, then a smooth transition to deeper passion, tongues introducing themselves without bashfulness. Rook moaned quietly as she pressed her body against Faith, holding her tightly against her chest.

Practically wrenching herself to pull away, Faith interrupted their intimacy. Alana groaned and tried to lean back in, but the Siren rested their foreheads together, preventing further movement.

“I had something to say to you, Deputy,” Faith said on a breath, “I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have been so firm yesterday. I only came to help you accept the Bliss, I felt you searching for it. But then you became vulgar with me… and… it hurt me. I should have known better than to fight back, you didn’t really mean what you said. You’re defensive right now, it’s completely natural, I just… it was reflexive. I know it’s not an excuse, but… do you forgive me, Alana?”

Rook opened her mouth in forgetfulness, trying to answer Faith’s question but also trying to remember exactly when she gave Faith her first name. She didn’t think she had… but this was a dream, right? That would explain it.

“I uh…” Alana mumbled, still lost in thought.

“It would mean so much to me, Deputy,” Faith continued to speak, ever so gently, looking up at Alana with innocent eyes, “if I knew you forgave me.”

Alana’s jaw set and she swallowed, looking down at Faith from her few extra inches of height.

“It’s whatever,” Alana finally managed to say. Faith grinned that pure smile of hers, and her show of happiness was so contagious, it flared in the deputy’s chest. Sheepishly, Alana let herself smile back.

“I guess I’ll take any forgiveness I can get,” Faith hummed. “Oh, Alana, I’m so pleased. I can’t wait to continue to show you what’s in store for you.”

Alana’s eyes began to read Faith now out of habit. She saw the woman smiling, felt the warmth in her hands that were gently gripping her forearms, but she saw the slight twitch in her lips, the quick glint of hostility in her green eyes.

“You’re playing with me,” Alana whispered, not accusatorially, but matter-of-factly.

The small shimmer of truth faded from how Faith was carrying herself, and the Siren frowned with confusion.

“You think I would lie to you about my relief, Deputy?”

“No, about your intentions.” 

“Bringing you into our family?”

“You’re either just trying to trap me into getting killed, or into getting brainwashed. You might as well stop trying.”

Faith’s thumbs began to subconsciously stroke Alana’s arms. She lightly tossed her head to the side. “ _In a dream_? Maybe you should tell that to the real Faith,” she said, knowing full well that she was real, but that Alana didn’t. “ _If you can_. You dream of kissing her, after all.” Her eyes flashed again, but the challenge hid itself just as quickly.

“I like this about you,” Alana confided truthfully.

Faith raised an eyebrow. It occurred to Alana that they were still in their embrace, yet she didn’t break it, and neither did the Siren.

“So clever,” Alana began to clarify, “A trickster… and a very good one.”

Faith opened her mouth, ready to defend herself, but Alana’s grazing fingers on her neck stopped all her words.

“I actually don’t mind talking with you. I don’t mind your visits.”

Faith’s smile twisted, a real mixture of practiced happiness and wicked accomplishment.

“And I wanna believe you so bad…” Alana continued.

Faith’s grip on Rook’s arms tightened in response, like a fish biting a line.

“Let yourself, deputy,” Faith encouraged, leaning closer in excitement. “I know it’s hard to believe something new, especially in such scary times.” Faith’s hand began to slide up Alana’s bicep, then graze its way back down. “I’m so glad you listen to me. In fact, I want to do something special for you next time we meet.”

“I’m not joining the cult, Faith,” Alana smiled down at her.

“You’re just saying what you’ve heard everyone else say,” Faith said simply. “You must make your own mind through your own experiences, Deputy, not through others.”

“I have enough experience with Eden’s Gate to say no, Faith.”

“Don’t worry, Alana…” Faith grinned, gently removing herself from the deputy’s hold. “You’ve said it yourself already: you want to believe me, you’re already making your own path. A different path. I’ll come for you soon, Deputy. Sleep well…”

Alana didn’t know how much time had passed between the end of her dream and the moment of her waking, but when she did rise from Hudson’s lap, she did feel better.

“Good nap?” Hudson asked, watching Alana comb her hair with her fingers.

“For the most part,” Alana answered, not wanting to mention her dream.

“It sounded like it was,” Hudson teased.

“Excuse me?” Alana turned to face her partner.

“You had some moaning going on…” Hudson bit her lip, trying so hard not to laugh. “Who you dreaming about?”

With a burst of warmth in her heart, Alana couldn’t fight the urge to play.

“I was dreaming about you, Hudson!” She grinned, poking her partner in the arm.

Hudson smiled wide as she rolled her eyes.

“You don’t believe me?” Alana continued to tease, hugging Hudson’s arm. “You didn’t hear me going ‘Joey! Joey! Oh yes, Joey!’?”

Both women erupted in laughter at Alana’s mock high-pitched cries as Hudson smacked Rook’s arm. It felt good to laugh, for both of them.

“We ready to go?” Whitehorse asked, coming into the room upon hearing the commotion.

The women quickly doused their medicinal humor upon his entrance.

“You feel better, Rook?” He asked her, resting a shotgun on his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rook nodded, getting up from the couch. “Let’s head out.”

* * *

A day had passed since Alana dreamt of Faith, and the deputy felt pained at the Siren’s absence. For that whole expanse of twenty-four hours, all she could think about was the dream. Even though she knew it was a dream, she felt embarrassed about kissing Faith- it was a dream, right? Her lips felt so real, so soft and warm. Her hands, the way her fingers gripped her arm… her subconscious was really working overtime to make everything feel so real.

Feeling restless at the crack of dawn, Alana didn’t see the problem in heading to the river for a catch and release fishing trip. Just something to help her wind down privately. Hudson encouraged it, and it felt good to have her partner’s support. She knew both Joey and Whitehorse were concerned about her, and it was the main reason why they traveled beside her for the past two days, but both still understood the importance of me-time.

Alana arched her fishing rod three times before fulling casting her line, making sure it would land somewhere deep in the Henbane. A part of her questioned if she should even be fishing from this area. Yes, it was just catch and release, she didn’t intend on eating a blissed-out fish, but she felt bad for the creatures. How was the drug affecting them?

A few minutes passed and no fish tugged on her lure, and Alana frowned. Perhaps the Bliss was keeping the fish from being responsive, or maybe it just wasn’t her day. Sighing, Alana began to retract her line.

“Good morning, deputy,” came a soft voice behind her.

Alana flinched in her boots at her surprise visitor. She turned around and stared at Faith like she had been caught doing something embarrassing.

“What are you doing here?” Alana asked, not moving for the pistol holstered on her hip. “Are you real?”

Faith chose not to answer the question, and took a few steps forward, her movement barely audible as her bare feet moved against the soft soil of the riverbank.

“You haven’t come to the Bliss in a while, Deputy,” Faith said nonchalantly, “I’ve missed you. It’s so refreshing to host you.”

“I’m done with the Bliss, Faith,” Alana said, “You almost had me, but I’m not going back.”

Faith tilted her head at the words, looking hurt. “But did it not make you feel good? Did it not bring you peace? The Bliss is here to take care of you. It’s _so good_ for you, Deputy.”

“No, it’s not,” Alana said firmly, taking a step back as Faith casually advanced.

“Oh, Deputy,” Faith reached out to caress Rook’s cheek like she had in the Bliss. “The Collapse is coming, and I need to make sure you’re safe at home. The Bliss will help us both- us all, when we wait for the world to be reborn.”

“Faith,” Alana sighed, reaching up to gently grip Faith’s hand away from her cheek. “None of that is going to happen…”

“Deputy,” Faith ignored, taking the officer’s hands in both of hers. Alana cleared her throat as the small act of affection hindered her resilience. “Do you trust me? Do you want to hear my words?”

Faith had asked this to reference the visitation dream from the other day, exposing the truth Alana had shared in it.

“I…” Alana’s jaw loosened as she searched for words, her own mind instantly remembering the confession she shared with ‘dream Faith’.

“I know you do,” Faith said softly, “I can tell, don’t worry, Deputy. _It’s okay_ to want to hear me out. Your soul reaches for me, it yearns for the salvation I can bring to you.”

Alana cleared her throat once more, wanting to call Faith out and hear her soft and lovely voice at the same time. She felt silly and selfish, but she couldn’t stop her need to indulge. She would have to arrest this woman soon- hopefully, as she did not wish to kill another Herald, but bring them to the justice system. However, the time between that and now? Alana couldn’t help wanting to be in Faith’s good graces: to hear her voice, even if she was just reading the ingredients of a shampoo bottle- to see her strange smile, and to feed off of her touch. Alana knew Faith had her in the open palm of her hand, but was in no hurry to jump out before the fingers closed around her.

When Alana stayed silent, Faith smiled warmly, her eyes sparkling with new excitement.

“Let me do something for you, Deputy,” she began, squeezing Alana’s hands in hers. “Let me show you the love of Eden’s Gate. Come with me…” She began to walk closer to the river, bringing Alana with her as she hadn’t let go of her hand.

“Where are-” Alana wanted to ask, as Faith began to walk into the river, the shallows soaking the bottom half of her dress, the white lace clinging to her thighs.

“Come on,” Faith giggled, after a sharp breath, her body reacting to the sudden feel of cold water against her stomach. Almost like a frantic puppy, Alana quickly reached out for Faith, placing her hands on the Siren’s shoulders, as if afraid to drown. Faith laughed deeply this time, wrapping an arm around the deputy’s waist to pull her close and secure. “Why are you so nervous, Deputy? I know you can swim!”

“I don’t know what we’re doing!” Alana answered, trying to find a way to thread the water without bumping her knees into Faith’s, who was also trying to keep them afloat. They were now in the middle of the Henbane, with feet of water beneath their toes, unable to touch the ground. Alana’s fingers tightened on Faith’s shoulders as the Bliss began to affect her vision. “F-Faith,” Alana stuttered, “The Bliss… I can’t…”

“It’s okay,” Faith shushed Alana, keeping the woman secured against her. “It won’t hurt you… you can trust me.” She leaned her forehead against Alana’s. “Now, let me do something for you.” She said this with a hint of flirt, wanting to keep Alana’s mind at ease, to distract her from the Bliss reclaiming her senses.

“What is it, then?” Alana asked, breath shaking from the chill of the river and the disorientation of the drugged water.

“I want to baptize you,” Faith said easily.

“Ugh, you know what?” Alana tried to depart from Faith’s arms, but her limbs felt like jelly, responding late to her own commands. “Honestly I don’t know what I expected…”

“Shush,” Faith urged lovingly, pulling Rook back to her. “John tried to do it to you, but he did it wrong. He didn’t do it with love. Let me show you how it’s really done… There’s no harm in it, is there?”

Alana eyed Faith suspiciously. Yeah, there was no harm, except over-exposure to the Bliss, but Alana knew something was happening to her. Something in her heart. She didn’t want to have to leave Faith just yet, so…

“Fine…” Alana whispered, afraid someone besides Faith would hear the horrible word just uttered by her. She wanted to make a comment about not dropping her, or letting her drown, but she knew the water made her weightless in Faith’s arms, so she turned around so Faith could essentially cradle her.

“I’m so proud of you, Deputy,” Faith said, as she began to lower Alana, the water plugging in the Deputy’s ears. “You’re on the Path, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. You’re so amazing, you’re so worthy…” She gently submerged Alana into the water, after the deputy took a quick breath and closed her eyes. Not wanting to break this trust Faith wanted to build in the deputy, she raised her back out softly in just a few seconds. Alana gasped for air upon surfacing, surprised that Faith had brought her up so soon.

Warmly, Faith asked, “Please tell me your name…” Obviously she knew it. All the Seeds knew her- Marshall Burke had told them everything, but she didn’t need Rook to know that. It would break this spell. It would get Alana to remember her mission.

“Alana Rook,” the deputy replied quietly, her eyes sleepily fixed on the many threads of green in Faith’s irises, like tall blades of grass in a field.

“Alana,” Faith repeated, “Such a beautiful name. Alana Rook, I baptize you in the name of Joseph Seed, _our_ Father. You are hereby forgiven for all your sins from birth to now… take a breath, Alana…” Alana did as she was told, allowing Faith to dip her into the Henbane once again. Faith gazed down at the Deputy, her face made wavy by the flowing water. She was relieved that this was going so well, but a part of her was also disappointed. In who, the Siren couldn’t tell at that moment. Knowing the deputy would need air, she pulled Alana back up and continued the small sermon. “Your path is not complete, but I praise your name, Alana. I praise you for starting this wonderful journey. Know that I love you, and that the Father loves you, and we will be waiting for you to make it home.” She submerged Alana for the third and final time- but instead of bringing her back up, Faith took a breath and slipped herself completely under the water with her. Alana’s eyes widened when she saw her, both women threading the water, blue and red ribbons of distorted vision clouding their view. Faith smiled with her lips, and turned Alana’s body so that they were embracing like before, and then pushed back up to the surface.

Both women gasped upon breaking the water.

“Faith! What the hell?” Alana asked, moving her short, wet hair out of her face.

Faith giggled as she also fought her own light brown locks, now slightly tangled, from sticking to her face.

“I wanted to join you for the last go,” Faith said happily. “Don’t worry, your baptism is still valid.”

“I-” Alana rolled her eyes. She could really care less about the validity of the ceremony. She only did it to make Faith happy. “Listen- I should get going…”

“Oh, Alana,” Faith cooed, pressing herself against her. “Don’t go.”

Alana blushed, her whole body warming like a match instantly struck.

“I-I gotta…”

“You can come home,” Faith tried, “Come home with me…”

“Uhh…” Alana chuckled awkwardly, knowing what the Siren meant, but still couldn’t help thinking about what it sounded like. “Faith, I have to…”

“You know you have a place waiting for you?” Faith enticed, “Every day the Father and I wait for you. We’re ready to receive you.”

Alana was silent. She really didn’t know what to say, and a part of her wanted to just instinctually go off of old school manners: ‘thank you for the hospitality, but I should really just go…’, but couldn’t voice them.

Faith knew she couldn’t push too hard, but she was a little irritated. It had never been this hard to seduce someone to Eden’s Gate before. If Alana was like all the others she had grabbed, even Burke, the deputy would have been swaying to their choir music at a sermon in her bunker by now. But letting the deputy go simply guaranteed more losses for the Cult, and she wasn’t sure how much more the Father would tolerate. She needed to fight harder, fight stronger- she needed to use all resources available. _The kiss_.

Raising her hands out of the water with a light splash, she cradled Alana’s face, and brought her own face closer, much to Alana’s panic.

“Is it okay if I get this close?” Faith asked on a delicate whisper. “I know I touch a lot as it is, I can’t help it, I believe love is the best gift to give. But this…” her lips were practically hovering in front of Alana’s now, “is something I’ve never felt before.”

“Oh, fuck me,” Alana muttered anxiously, “What’s in this batch of Bliss?” the deputy weakly chuckled.

Faith’s eyes flickered up to Rook’s, the challenging spark the deputy had mentioned she loved seeing taking control of her. Alana’s fingers tightened on Faith’s hips. Faith smirked, remembering how Alana said she liked the competitiveness in her. She’d have her now.

“How long will you make me wait?” Faith asked, her voice low and wanting.

Alana shook her head, unable to believe she was hearing what was being said. “This can’t be happening…”

“Alana…” Faith whispered with a hint of need, and grazed her lips against Rook’s. Alana sighed lightly, shivering in Faith’s arms, her eyes closed to feel the hovering touch. Not waiting on the deputy, Faith closed the gap, giving her prey a deep kiss. Alana melted from it, and Faith was grateful that the water helped her keep the woman up.

However, after a long moment, Alana abruptly found the strength to pull away.

“God, no, Faith,” she shook her head. “We shouldn’t.”

“Because we’re on different sides?” Faith asked, a little condescendingly.

Alana nodded.

“We're not,” Faith said. “You were never truly one of them.”

A pain pierced Alana’s heart. “What do you know?”

“You’re an outsider to them. To Fall's End, to even your police team. They taunt your family name, spinning it with Rookie, because you’re new. You haven’t earned your place to them. Even now. Sending you on mission after mission after mission, to what? Keep proving yourself? A never ending hazing. Before the other day, what did your team do all day?”

Alana opened her mouth, ready to give all her allies the benefit of the doubt, but Faith raised a finger to pressed against her lips.

“They stay and wait. All day. In the Spread Eagle, sipping beers and coffee. In the Jail, walking around in circles on that wall, even in the Whitetail Mountains, wasting time playing vinyls. All the while you’re out there, _bleeding and fighting_. Risking your life time and time again so they can do what? Tell you more of what they’d like you to do while they sit and wait for you to come back for more.”

Alana felt exposed. She told herself she should lie. She shouldn’t let Faith know what she thought, even though she hit the nail on the head.

“But Hudson-" Alana found herself saying.

“Deputy Hudson is simply repaying a debt, and nothing more.” Faith said this quick, ready and waiting for Alana to bring up her partner. Hudson was definitely a threat to securing Alana for Eden’s Gate. Alana was right, Hudson did care about her, but Faith couldn’t have her see that. She had to twist that. Change what Alana saw to bring her closer and closer to her and the Father. “I know how it feels, Alana, to want to belong. To want to prove myself…”

Alana watched Faith, hurt pooling in her brown eyes, but stayed silent.

“I know too well what that feels like, and sometimes, I feel I’m still doing that…” Faith dazed, but then something lit in her mind. She _was_ still doing it. This very act of seduction was part of it. Faith closed her eyes, trying to steady herself, keeping her own emotions down. This was about Alana, not about herself…

“But the Father assures me every day that this is my home no matter what,” Faith opened her eyes, her practiced smile emerging. “All you have to do is confess your sins and promise to be a part of our family, and we will help you with everything. Every pain, every struggle. You will receive love and support everyday no matter what you do or comes your way. It’s why we still love you now, after all you’ve done against us. Do you think your friends would forgive you so easily?”

Alana didn’t know why she entertained Faith’s question, but she started imagining it. What Hudson would say if she gave up, what Pastor Jerome would say if she, by some freak accident, committed friendly fire… would she be forgiven and granted another chance? She had killed so many on the cultist side as it was, yet Faith was here, still being soft with her, still filling her head with fantasies.

“I…” Alana’s voice croaked, “I would love to be a part of something so perfect,” she continued, voice wavering. “But I know perfect doesn’t exist…”

“We never said we’re perfect, Alana,” Faith reasoned, “Every single one of us struggles with sin, with self-acceptance, but we make it a point to consciously forgive. To be a stronger community, to understand and support one another.” She reached out and caressed Alana's cheek, “We’re not perfection, we're just being what normal should be.”

“But the killing- the violence…” Alana laughed with a sob, not because of the crimes, but because Faith was acting like they didn’t happen.

Faith furrowed her eyebrows, as if considering the point, and replied “I’ll agree that I wish it didn’t have to come to violence, but I believe both sides are guilty of unnecessary bloodshed. We try to bring people to New Eden, you try to take people out. You fire upon sight when seeing one of ours, and they do the same unto you. If only people would just _listen_ , no one would hurt, no one would die.” The Siren shook her head sympathetically. “But you'll listen to me, right, Alana?”

Faith was looking at her with so much hope, it made Alana only want to please her once more.

“I want to…” The deputy admitted lowly.

“Don’t be ashamed, Alana,” Faith smiled, “You want to walk the Path, I see it in your hesitation. Don’t be afraid. Not everyone can see it, that’s why not everyone takes it. But the Bliss has opened your mind to it, and you shall be saved. Come find me, Deputy. In three days I will be giving a sermon at the statue of Joseph. Come hear me speak, listen to his Word.”

With that, Faith disappeared in her mist, leaving Alana to bauble in the water in surprise.


	3. I'm So Glad You Came

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana's will wavers, and Faith sets her talons in deeper...

“Slow and steady, Father,” Faith said into the phone. She sat at her desk, her legs crossed at her ankles as she propped an elbow on the surface, finding it hard to sit straight with so much anxiety simmering within her.

“Faith…” Joseph’s voice came through the receiving end, “ _Faith…_ ” The emphasis on her name- her _title_ \- sent a chilled shiver down her back. “Why haven’t you taken her? You held her in your very arms…”

“My strategy, Father,” Faith tried, her voice maintaining her professionalism, but her uneasiness was plain on her face. “She won’t stay if we take her, she must come to us. And she will.”

“You held her… you baptized her,” Joseph continued. “Subdue her with the Bliss. It worked with the Marshall, it worked with others. Why are you holding back on her?”

“She isn’t the Marshall,” Faith snapped, then closed her eyes in a languid surrender upon realizing her mistake. She sighed to steady herself, hoping the Father wouldn’t chastise her for her disrespect. “She’s different. She’s stronger. Her will is stubborn. It is best to trap her, not attack her.”

Joseph was quiet on the other side.

Faith quickly filled the silence, “She will be in our grasp soon. I told her of my sermon, the one in a few days. She’ll come, I know it.”

“And what will you do when you have her then?” Joseph’s voice had a dull interest in it, “Let her go again?”

Faith closed her eyes once more, her brows pinching in frustration. God, she wished they could just kill her. Just kill Alana along with everyone else who resisted. Why keep her? Why obsess over converting her? It wouldn’t set an example they hadn’t already sent.

“When she comes,” Faith said with concentration, keeping her anger at bay, “She will come to join. She will put up her arms. Her fight will be over. She will join our family…”

Faith’s eyes darted towards one of the windows in the room, giving her a view of her many angels, groaning and dragging their feet through the canopied Bliss plots. A stir of nostalgia hummed inside her soul as she remembered what pleasant memories she had here in Jessop Conservatory, albeit very little. She suppressed it, sending the quick spark and flicker of Rachel back inside the depths of her being as Joseph finally spoke.

“I’ll be waiting at your gates then. When I see you arrive, I hope to welcome our newest member… _Rachel_ …”

The line went dead. Her hand that gripped the phone tightened, and Faith heard its shell crack. Suppressing a tremble, she slammed the phone back on its base.

* * *

It was difficult at first to visit the deputy that day, as Hudson never left Alana’s side, working hard to solidify a friendship. Faith needed to get rid of her, and quickly. When the Sheriff’s team had arrived in Hope County that fateful night, all the Heralds knew that keeping the deputies separated and isolated would work best, so that’s what they did. It was supposed to make them all desperate to join. So alone in a new world, with no hopes of returning to the old… it was join or die. But Alana ruined that. When she liberated Hudson and murdered John, both Faith and Jacob knew there was a high possibility of a repeated event, and with double the strength. Who was going to be first, neither knew, but when Alana began wreaking havoc in the Henbane days later, Faith’s knees shook. The Father made her feel immortal, whereas Alana reminded her of her mortality- her very delicate and endangered mortality.

That night Alana went for a walk, as she seemed to start making a habit of. Faith sensed it, even from her bunker… Alana was searching, guiltily crossing hills and passing through trees like a child sneaking their way to the cookie jar. She was looking for Bliss, and not just that, but Faith herself, too.

So, Faith arrived, hands behind her back, casually strolling about a nearby Bliss field. Her heart skipped in excitement as she saw Alana enter the clearing, the deputy’s face dawning with relief as she saw the white petals and dark green leaves- and then her face changed yet again, having noticed Faith halfheartedly dancing through the stalks.

Alana walked briskly, entering the flowers as if they weren’t even there to begin with and reached a hand out to touch her.

“Are you rea-” Alana began to say, but her hand vanquished Faith into a mist. Putting a hypothesis into play, Alana remained in the Bliss field, breathing deeply in the night’s peace, waiting and waiting. Her vision swayed and sparkled, and her muscles partially loosened, days of tension slowly seeping out of them.

 _Faith will come back,_ she said to herself. So, she waited and waited, the drug stealthily stealing more and more self-control away from her. But she didn’t come back, no matter how long Alana waited. Even though Alana sat down in the fields, forgetting about everything, forgetting about her mission, about the fighting, about her pain.

She could have sworn she began to hear Faith hum somewhere in the distance, but was too incapacitated at this point to want to get up and look. However, all melody stopped the second she heard a very concerned and panicked:

“Rook? Where are you?”

Moments later, Hudson pulled her up out of the flowers and quickly rushed her away

* * *

The night before Faith’s sermon, Alana found herself too nervous to sleep. She was playing everything back in her mind. Her first trip into the Bliss fields, the dream, the baptism, the brief country-side visitations… She could see both sides of the argument, but she only really wanted to listen to one, even though she knew better.

All morning Faith had been taunting her, speaking in her mind, a tickling whisper in her ear. Every citizen saved, every shrine demolished, Faith was there for her eyes only, offering forgiveness, love and understanding. It was unnerving, yet it was relieving. She found herself not wanting to upset Faith, despite the inevitable actions her job as Deputy required. Each death at her own hands, each bloody tear into her own body at the hands of a cultist’s, Alana’s eyes searched for Faith’s apparition. Through eye contact with the Siren, she sought pardon, and Faith would give it to her, all broad fake smiles and suppressed rage behind emerald eyes, undetectable by the besotted officer.

She slipped away from where she, Joey, and Whitehorse had decided to squat for the night, determined to walk her way through meditation and reflection. Ever since Joey found Alana blissed out in the fields the other night, the other deputy had accompanied her on her next walk- to which Alana outwardly expressed irritation over. Tonight, she had waited for everyone to fall asleep first.

“What are you doing, Alana?” Rook muttered to herself as she walked, the night’s breeze combing through her hair. She winced as she walked, feeling a sharp pain at the bandaged injury in her side. “Are you seriously thinking about going to the sermon? … all because of a girl?”

She bit her lip and hung her head, shame heavy in her heart. Maybe she could make this situation better. Maybe she could convince _Faith_ to change sides. Would it be more socially acceptable this way? She didn’t really think she would betray the resistance, but she also didn’t want to let Faith go.

Her hearing perked just then as she heard _that voice_. The voice she was dying to hear all day, addicted to its natural melody, carrying across the cloudless night. Such a simple hum, yet the vocal tone comforted Alana.

“Faith?” Alana was afraid to move, wondering if she’d startle away another blessed apparition, so she turned slowly, seeing Faith in the distance behind her. The Siren was smirking, amused at Alana’s caution.

“How are you, Alana?” Faith asked, her smirk still present, watching Alana slowly step forward.

“I’m,” Alana swallowed, trying not to focus on how superbly serene the moonlight made the Siren look. “I’m doing alright, given the circumstances.” Faith’s eyes quickly surveyed Rook as she spoke. The deputy _did not_ look alright. In fact, it seemed she was becoming more a more stressed. Dark circles under her rich brown eyes, bandages on her hands and wrists. She guessed her torso and legs were wrapped and patched in gauze too. Faith said a lot to trick Alana into thinking that the Resistance didn’t care about her, but seeing her injuries almost made her believe it herself. Alana must had felt self-conscious, as she raised a hand to rub the back of her neck and asked, “How are you?”

Something twitched in Faith’s face, threatening to take down her smile. Faith felt it happen yet paid it no mind. It had been a very long time since someone had asked her that question, and she didn’t expect it to take her by surprise like that. As if Rachel wanted to jump forward just then and cry out: _horrible, I’ve been horrible. I’m so lost, please help me!_ But she wasn’t lost… she had Eden’s Gate.

“Miserable,” Faith found herself saying. Alana’s face weighed with concern at the answer.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

There was a tension between them, Faith could feel it: Alana wanted to offer her comfort, a hug or a hand on the shoulder, but wasn’t sure if it would be okay, or if she’d simply disappear.

“ _You_ , silly,” Faith said, smile growing with a tease. “I hear what you’ve been up to, how you fare. It tears at my heart to know you’re still out there risking your life for _them_.”

Alana’s face shifted in mild annoyance. “I thought something was _actually wrong_ ,” she grumbled.

“Is there nothing wrong with you putting yourself in danger every day?” Faith asked.

“I don’t know, is there nothing wrong with abducting and killing people?” Alana retorted.

There was a measurable moment of silence between them just then, and as they looked upon each other’s faces, Faith tried to respect the fact that Alana was indirectly helping her get better in the art of seduction. While Alana was a unique case, Faith still felt the oldest tricks in the book should work. She turned to leave…

“Wait!” Alana blurted, much to Faith’s pleasure. Works every time. “Don’t go… I…” 

“I’ve upset you, I should go,” Faith said. “I’m sorry, Alana.”

“No! No, no, Faith, wait, I’m sorry. Please don’t go… I keep wanting to see you.”

Faith simply watched, feeling her chest puff slightly in predatory arrogance. She would let Alana set the tone with this attempt.

“I wish I could see you more. I wish you didn’t disappear… I’ve been wanting to talk to you…”

Faith’s eyebrow quirked in genuine surprise, but remained silent.

“I hate that I have to get into a fight to catch your attention, or sit in some Bliss thinking that you’ll arrive but instead an angel charges me out of nowhere.”

“I have things to do, Alana,” Faith said sternly, only because she was trying not to laugh at the image of an angel chasing Alana down the road. “I come visit you whenever I can spare the time.”

“Are you really here this time?” Alana asked.

An idea sparked in Faith’s head, something that would allow Alana to continue to be conditioned through positive reinforcement.

“Find out,” Faith said. “Go on, reach out.”

Alana did, to which Faith quickly stepped out of range.

Alana’s lips thinned, trying not to become frustrated. Faith chucked.

“Try again, Alana…”

The deputy reached out quickly, like a cat swiping its claws through the air. Faith sidestepped again, weaponizing her playful giggle as she watched Alana’s mouth twist into a grin.

“Come on, deputy, catch me.”

The dare was delivered on such a sinister whisper, Faith feared for a shrill second that Alana’s spell would be broken, but, luckily for the Siren, this hidden darker edge to her was what Alana loved the most.

_You like the unknown, you like the mystery_ , Faith observed to herself.

Alana reached both arms quickly, an attempt to squeeze Faith into place, but Faith quickly ducked and turned on her heels, escaping the deputy’s grasp.

With a genuine breathy laugh, Faith lightly ran away, making her way to the small Bliss field nearby. Alana’s laugh was behind her, hearty and full. It was contagiously happy, and Faith couldn’t find it within her to guard herself from it. She could sense the deputy reach out for her again, and Faith twisted and turned away from Rook’s hands. They ran through the fields, halting quickly and turning at abrupt angles, each stop a quick huff of air and laugh would come from the two women. For a few seconds, it was a real moment between two people, both exhausted at being used, taking the time to make the other laugh. Taking a break. 

Alana reached out again, her fingertips coming centimeters away from victory, yet Faith was too quick, and the deputy was too ragged of breath, needing rest from her injuries. Nimbly, the Siren moved so that she was behind the deputy, and pressed herself into her back. It had enough force to bring the two women down into the Bliss field, crushing some stalks in the process, the scent of fresh greenery filling their noses.

Rook huffed painfully at the mostly gentle impact, lying on her back as Faith held herself up, bracketing the deputy: a hand on either side of Alana’s head and a knee barely touching each hip. Alana cleared her throat when she registered being underneath Faith.

“Looks like I caught you instead,” Faith said quietly, looking down gently at the woman beneath her. Playing the part, Faith looked about Alana’s current state, and frowned sympathetically. “You need rest, Alana. They’re running you ragged.”

This time, Alana didn’t retort, just watched intently.

“You need someone to focus on you for a little while. To give you a warm bed and space to breathe…” Faith continued in her dreamy tone, but her eyes flickered with the cunning of a wolf. “Come to the sermon tomorrow, _I’ll take you in with open arms_.” 

“I have to take the Marina tomorrow,” Rook replied reflexively. On instinct, the deputy squinted her eyes in disappointment. Faith kept her face relaxed, stoic and warm.

“The Marina?” Faith asked. “ _Adelaide Drubman_ is definitely not…” She then closed her eyes, swallowing her own words. She was going to tell Alana what she really thought of that woman, but _too much_ judgement would turn Alana off.

“I… I’m not going there, I don’t know why I said that…” Alana stumbled.

Faith put on a smile, returning to her theater. “I know you want to save everyone, to take care of everyone. I love that so much about you. But please reconsider, Alana. Please don’t hurt anyone. I can keep everyone safe if you’d let me- don’t fire a single bullet tomorrow, and my people won’t either. _Trust me_ , come to me instead. You protect life, show me how much you love to do so, I know you do. Don’t harm anyone and I’ll be so proud of you.”

Alana’s jaw shifted as she thought. “If I don’t hurt anyone, they won’t hurt anyone?”

“I promise…” Faith nodded.

“You want me to just not stop people who are hurting others?”

“Show mercy. Show them what you tell me,” Faith said with a heartwarming smile. “Show us how we can be better. Teach through example. Show mercy, and all will learn… Please, Alana?”

Faith’s own words were surprising her- she was trapped in a tangent, and it wasn’t like her at all, but she could see it was reaching Alana, so she didn’t want to stop.

“Just… I… I don’t know…”

Not giving Alana an opportunity to think her way out of it, Faith leaned down, and whispered “I’ll see you tomorrow, at noon.” Her lips pressed into Alana’s like a ghost- hints of warmth, hints of love- but disappeared into a vapor of Bliss before Alana could wrap her arms around her.

* * *

Normally no one would say anything if Alana asked to take a stroll alone, but, seeing as how she asked to wrap the day up at noon, everyone was a little hesitant.

“What do you mean she sent you home?” Hudson asked.

“Well, we got the Marina, and she just sent us home,” Jess shrugged.

“Yeah, said it was one hell of a fight and she just needed to rest,” Grace contributed.

“I don’t see the problem,” Jess said, rubbing the string of her bow with her thumb and index finger, “It was fucking bullshit. Damn Peggies wouldn’t stop showing up from the fucking river. Boats upon boats. If she’s done for the day, she’s done.”

“I thought we wanted to encourage her to take it easy?” Grace asked. “Should we have not let her go?”

Hudson cast her eyes down the road, her hands on her hips and her lip worrying itself into a bite. Rook suggested they bring Resistance members into the fight this time, to give the locals some catharsis and to even the playing field, but Hudson didn't anticipate for Alana to somehow disappear after the fight. 

“I mean…” the deputy murmured. Joey thought about this. She did want Alana to relax, to not overburden herself and to take everything a step at a time, if that's what she was doing… but knowing Rook was out there by herself, and how she had been acting around the Bliss these days… she was worried about Faith... Ever since that night she found her in a stupor, groaning in a Bliss field, Hudson felt the Siren was somehow singling Rook out.

“… if she doesn’t come back by sundown,” Hudson proposed, “We send out a search party.”

* * *

Alana drove down the road as fast as she could, hoping that the Peggies would look the other way as she sped in one of their very own trucks. She rubbed at her tired eyes, paying no mind to the Eden’s Gate choir music buzzing on the radio. Faith’s visit last night kept her mind active, and she couldn’t sleep as she tossed the proposal in her mind. It probably didn’t stand anymore, not since she actually did take the Marina. However, with each bullet, Alana’s heart squeeze, reminding her of how this was simply letting Faith down.

She couldn’t believe she was doing this. But… Faith had told her to… Faith…

Alana groaned from her exhaustion, the stress twisting her insides. As she continued down the road, she saw the sign that pointed to a dirt road: _Pilgrimage_.

She took the turn, her fingers flexing on the steering wheel. On the side of the road was someone who needed her help, someone who the Cult was trying to take by force. Quickly, she rolled down the window and held out her pistol, pointing with purpose.

“Oh shit!” Shouted a Peggie. He and his companion ran away from the local who was kneeling with his hands behind his back.

“Go! Go!” Alana shouted to him, her truck halting to a screech. “Run!” She fired her weapon, intentionally missing twice, in the direction of the two Peggies who tried to raise their own weapons. The man took off, stumbling at first, then with determination, disappeared from sight. Before the Peggies could decide who to go after, Alana fired one more shot in their direction to get them to scramble, and then hit the gas.

Normally she would pull over and jump out, charging the Peggies, determined to make sure they never harmed anyone again, but now… she had let them go… making sure they didn’t kill the man, but that they got to keep their lives too. Everyone wins, right?

She continued up the dirt path, the dust clouding up from the speed and traction of her tires. She drove past a shrine… her wavering dedication to duty told her she ought to destroy it, but she kept on.

_Walk the Path…_ Faith’s voice had whispered in her head. She wanted to trust Faith. She wanted to believe in her. God, she wished she could just rest with her. The Bliss made her feel so relaxed, when all other methods couldn’t even get her to do so. She just wanted to sleep. She just wanted all this to go away, and Faith promised she could give that to her. Or something like it.

By the time she could make out the statue and hear the cheering and music, Alana pulled the truck over and switched off the engine. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and stepped out. There was no need to stash any weapons, as all she had on her was her pistol. She didn’t intend to fire her piece, but knew it’d be dumb to leave without it. She kept it clipped in her leather holster, and began to walk.

She could hear Faith’s soft and loving voice, her sympathetic and understanding tone, and Alana felt her heart swell with relief and her knees sway. She was preaching about acceptance and forgiveness, and the Peggies were fucking _losing it_. Cheering and clapping and amen-ing nonstop. Rook wished they would shut the fuck up- she came to hear Faith, not them.

Hesitantly, she walked closer, keeping her eyes on the higher formations of rock, knowing guards had to be somewhere. The safer it seemed, the closer she got, and the more of Faith’s voice she could hear. Climbing the steps, Alana could feel her heart beat with excitement. She could see Faith from here, as Rook leaned against a chiseled boulder, she let her heart lighten and her legs rest, and she simply just _listened_.

“I don’t want any of you to go a single day thinking the Father doesn’t love you. He does, and he always will,” Faith said with a heartwarming smile, a Bliss wreath resting on her head. “It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, he loves you. That kind of love, you can’t find anywhere else. The outside world, they don’t believe in forgiveness. They believe in revenge. They call it getting even, but more often than not their acts of so-called-revenge are worse than the initial offense.”

“That’s wrath!” shouted an overly-invested Peggie in the crowd.

Faith’s lips curled into a smile at the interjection, the crowd agreeing with the man.

“That’s right,” she said, “That’s wrath. And it’s such a terrible sin, and they hold onto it to justify everything. But if they would just learn how to let go, to forgive, the world would be a safer place. The world would be full of so much love.” Faith paused to let her crowd take this in, to cheer and nod. Her eyes scanned the crowd, and then landed on Alana in the distance. She licked her lips in excitement, like all orators do, ready to continue her speech as her eyes never left Alana’s.

“But The Project? The Word of the Father?” Faith continued, holding her religious text tightly to her heart in passion, “is full of forgiveness and love, and His love and understanding will never falter, no matter how much hate is in the world. Give unto the Father all your pain, all your weariness. Give unto me all your sorrow. And in return, you will receive everlasting love and support, safety and healing. You are safe among your family, and you may rest your soul and your body. Look around you- you have brothers and sisters beside you at all times. Care for them, and let them care for you.”

Faith paused, her eyes still focusing on Alana’s, which never broke contact either. The deputy was listening. She was eating it up. Faith smiled, feeling victory ever nearer. _Oh, the Father will be so pleased…_

But the figurative hook in Alana’s mouth was snatched, leaving Faith’s line slack, as a Peggie shouted:

“A sinner!”

It all happened in slow motion, even Faith wasn’t fast enough to stop it all from happening. A rifle fired and the round cracked into the rock beside Alana, the rubble scratching her face. The young deputy took off, knowing this wasn’t going to go well, running as fast as she could. She knew making it to the truck would be risky, she had to find a small pocket of trees and quick. She could hear the commotion behind her as cultists scrambled to assemble. As the valley dipped, she could see some trees. Desperately, Alana willed her legs to move faster.

“Stop! No!” she could hear Faith order. For a split second Alana was surprised at the shrillness, having heard no other tone from the Siren before, but there wasn’t much time to think about it as a rifle cracked once more and a bullet punched through her shoulder.

Alana stumbled forward at the force with a cry, reaching her hands out on reflex to break her fall, the pressure of catching her body corroding in her wound. Rook grumbled in pain, her lungs picking up speed as she tried not to panic.

“Got her!” shouted another militant.

“Why, it’s the deputy!” snarled another.

Alana brought herself to her knees, grunting like an animal as she pressed a hand up to her shoulder, blood flowing from her fingers.

“Don’t hurt her!” shouted Faith. The Peggies froze, startled by the command. They lowered their weapons slowly. The Siren made her way through the crowd, the Peggies watching her curiously. “She came to listen to The Word of the Father.”

“It’s the deputy…” a cultist murmured in explanation, as if that was enough to act upon.

“I saw her,” Faith said gently, kneeling to look at Alana’s wound. Rook felt her head get light, yet could barely keep it up. “She came to us to listen. I know she’s put up a fight in the past, but she came today on her own volition. The Father’s words are making their way into her heart, and you shooed her away…”

Murmurs of shock and disbelief went through the crowd, along with some grumbles of feeling ashamed.

“We did not know, Faith,” frowned the man with a sniper rifle resting on his shoulder. “Forgive us…”

“Alana,” Faith whispered quietly, lifting the deputy’s heavy head up. “You’re bleeding a lot, we're going to take care of you, okay? Rest on me…”

Rook did as she was told, slumping her head on Faith’s shoulder with a moan.

“Of course I forgive you,” Faith spoke up now to the waiting crowd, her arms covering the deputy protectively. “You only wished to protect your family. But she wants to be one of us now… let’s right our wrong by taking care of her.”

The cultists seemed to jolt in understanding, now rushing forward to the two women, numerous hands grabbing Alana gently, removing her from Faith’s soft dress. In her blurring vision, Rook could see that her blood had soaked into the white lace, and in her stupor, felt incredibly remorseful for it.

“Sister….” The cultists called to her, raising her gingerly. They touched her face, they staunched her wound as best they could, they carried her, all the while, so many voices muttering “Sister… sister… sister….”


	4. Gonna Build a Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana wakes up from her injury and makes a decision.

When Alana woke up, _god_ , she felt so rested. Her shoulder felt numb and thick, but there was no pain. Her eyes flickered open to the ambient and melancholic sky of the Bliss. It always reminded her of a passing storm on a summer day: overcast yet somehow still bright. However, the sky seemed to dissipate within seconds, its brightness replaced by a beaming ceiling light. 

“You're up,” said a soft voice, a finger now gently combing some hair out of Rook's face.

“Faith…” Alana breathed, euphoric at recognizing the Siren sitting in a chair beside her. The deputy was in bed, propped up by pillows with an IV in one arm, her injured on supported by a sling. At the edge of the room was a vent, blowing slow gusts of Bliss into the room.

“The man who shot you today,” Faith cooed, now dragging her fingers through Alana’s hair at a delicious grating, “apologizes for what he's done…”

Alana wondered if this was true. If he had simply asked for forgiveness and it was granted, or if Faith had simply disposed of him.

“Don't worry,” Faith pursed her smile, guessing Alana’s thoughts. “He's doing some penance work. He asked for it, but he’s doing fine.”

“My arm…”

“Is healing well,” Faith stated with a flash of a smile. “It was a good clean shot. Went right through, didn’t hit anything major. You’ll heal with some dedicated bedrest.”

“I'm sorry,” Alana whispered. With each breath she took, she felt leagues better. Against her better judgement, she yawned, feeling the Bliss rush into her.

“For what, Alana?” Faith asked softly.

“For ruining your sermon.”

Faith batted Alana’s nose gently, “You didn’t ruin it at all. Just because I didn’t finish doesn’t mean it was ruined.” She leaned close to Alana and whispered “It was all for you. Every word. I’m so glad you heard what I had to say. You do understand right? That you’re _oh so loved_?”

“How though?” Alana asked, feeling warmth spread in her chest. Groggily, she rolled her head to the left, looking at Faith more directly. She couldn’t help but feel like she wanted to stay here forever. She knew it was the drug, but she could feel her wounds stitching, physically and emotionally, and she didn’t want it to stop. However, there was still a faint echo in her mind suggesting that she had made a huge mistake.

“That’s the thing about unconditional love, Alana,” Faith explained. “It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, we will always love you. And now that you’ve chosen our family…” The Siren’s face lost its softness for a brief moment as she continued. “… The Father has come to see you.”

Alana grimaced without shame, not even the Bliss could keep all her true feelings at bay. Alana felt she could trust Faith, but Joseph? The Father didn’t gain her trust by proxy of Faith, despite how it may seem. If anything, Alana would prefer to just stay with the Siren rather than have to acknowledge the rest of the Seed family. 

“I don’t want to talk to him,” Alana said, feeling she could tell the truth to Faith.

Faith smiled with a sympathetic purse of her lips, reaching out to squeeze Alana’s hand. “Do you trust me?”

Alana’s brows furrowed, struggling within herself.

“I do,” The deputy admitted quietly.

“I know you are still hesitant to see the Father in a new light,” Faith said, “To no longer see him the way your friends all do, but trust me, Alana, you are safe with the Father, and he loves you. Remember my sermon?”

“… I don’t know…” Alana murmured.

Faith sighed calmly and raised Alana’s hand to her lips, kissing the top of the deputy’s hand. “Give it time, Alana. Just be open, and you’ll see.”

There was a knock at the door, and it sent an ominous shiver down Alana’s spine, both women knowing who it was.

“Come in,” Faith urged happily.

The door opened and in came the Father himself, Joseph Seed, in his blazer and bolo tie, two armed Chosen behind him.

“You’re up!” Joseph said in his gentle charismatic tone. “How splendid! Faith and her team have done well. I trust a full recovery is at hand?”

“Absolutely, Father,” Faith beamed, standing up out of the chair and offering it to Joseph. There was a message conveyed in their eye contact, full of impression and pride. Joseph took the chair offered, fixed his blazer, and looked Alana in the eye.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“What kind of man knocks on the door of his own empire?”

Joseph raised an eyebrow, “You mean the door? My dear, just because I shepherd this flock doesn’t mean I don’t know what privacy is!” He laughed, and something imbedded in Alana’s sense of manners encouraged her to chuckle awkwardly with him. “A gentleman always knocks. Can I assume you’re doing well? How’s your shoulder feeling?”

“Non-existent,” Alana answered.

This time it was Faith who laughed with the Father at the comment.

“I would imagine so!” Joseph grinned, and the smile surprised Alana, having to admit that she could see where some of his charisma came from. “Our Faith here just might be giving you a bit too much on the pain meds, but I trust she’s only trying to make sure you don’t feel any pain in the slightest.”

“I believe that,” Alana answered without thought. “How long do I have to stay in bed? I’d like to have a look around. I trust I’ve been seen by a doctor?”

“Oh of course, you have,” Joseph smiled. “Only the finest. We are prepared in all aspects for the Collapse. Our medical staff have recommended at least two solid days of bedrest, if you’re anxious to stretch your legs, but physical labor is absolutely non-negotiable. To make sure we don’t interrupt the healing process with natural clotting and what not, you will not be using that arm for anything. It must stay in the sling until a doctor clears you.”

“And then what?” Alana forced herself to ask. She couldn’t believe she had done what she did. Couldn’t believe she went out to hear Faith speak. Couldn’t believe she got captured. She had two options: escape and return to the Resistance, or give in, like she had at Joseph’s Word. She would start a new life among these people. These strange individuals convinced that the world was ending…

“And then you will help us prepare,” Joseph said simply. “There is still plenty of work to be done and souls to save.”

“You want me to bring people in?” Alana’s face flushed red as she imagined trying to convince Joey to join. The pain of judgement caused her to wince. “I can’t… I can’t…”

“You won’t,” Faith smiled. “We will keep you home, don’t you worry. You will help around here. I will protect you from their judgement…” Alana looked up to Faith, her words a balm for her shame. It was both strange and comforting that the Siren knew her worries. “No doubt they’d try to shame you into joining them again. But that’s why we will keep you safe and sound, Alana. They wouldn’t welcome you back with love, but you won’t have to feel pain in your heart again. Not with us.”

“That’s right,” Joseph stood up and straightened his clothes out, even though there seemed to be no wrinkles in his flawless appearance. “You don’t have to see them any more, your mind can rest by thinking only of the future. You have a new world here,” he reached out and squeezed Alana’s hand. His touch was warm and soft, and it added a layer of humanity to the image of him in Rook’s mind. “I will leave you to rest now, Alana. Faith, please make sure our new member gets the rest she deserves.”

“Of course, Father,” Faith said, moving to the IV bag and increasing the flow.

“What are you giving me?” Alana asked softly, ignoring Joseph’s presence.

“Just morphine,” Faith answered sweetly, as if she herself was relishing in a treat.

“Morphine and Bliss…” Alana murmured, feeling significantly drowsier and carefree, watching the Bliss still breath out of the vent. “Is that a good combination?”

“The _best_ ,” Faith persuaded in whisper, kissing the top of Alana’s head.

Rook shamelessly let the kiss touch her heart, and she smiled as she felt the narcotics of Bliss, morphine, and infatuation take over her system. Somewhere in her groggy, blurred, and hollowed perspective, the deputy could make out the sound of music in the distance.

_Those Peggies and their gospel…_ Alana thought to herself.

“Gonna build a castle…” came Faith’s melodic voice. It seemed to come from all around, within her mind, tickling her ear…

Alana hummed with sluggish bliss, “… gonna build it high…”

“That’s my girl,” Faith praised with a giggle, her fingers dragging through Alana’s hair like earlier, “Sing for me…”

Alana knew she was high, and it was like watching herself from outside her own body, but she obeyed the Siren, displaying the truth about how she felt about the Peggie choir: she loved those damn songs. She never wanted anyone to know she memorized the lyrics, but Faith wanted her to show her how much she knew. She had to sing. She had to please her.

“Gonna … build it…” Alana felt she had trouble breathing, but couldn’t find it in her to panic, so she heaved as best she could, “… brick by… brick…”

Faith’s laughter echoed somewhere, and Alana didn’t know if the woman was entertained or simply mocking her, but she continued, unable to care. She was just simply happy. Happy and oh so sleepy.

“… and stone by stone…” Alana couldn’t keep her eyes from fluttering anymore and let the heavy weight of her eyelids keep them closed. Her head fell back into the soft pillows.

“’Til it reaches up to the sky…” Faith finished for her, watching the deputy fall deeply into sleep.

* * *

“So…” Joseph started, ending the silent observation of the sleeping deputy. “ _Faith_ … tell me again how you secured the deputy…”

Faith held her head high and willed her lips not to curl in glee at her name. To not hear the pathetic name of Rachel filled her with a sense of success.

“Through _love_ , I see,” Joseph continued, putting suggestive emphasis in his tone.

“Oh course, Father,” Faith said, holding her hands behind her back. “As I said in our previous conversations, that was what she needed most. Her heart was her weakness.”

“She had guarded it well for all she has done to our Family. All the destruction and death. How did you see the chink in her armor?”

Faith cast a glance to Alana, watching her slumber. Her eyes scanned the deputy’s body, stopping on the black button up Eden’s Gate shirt they had clothed her in after needing to cut her original shirt for accessing the wound. The white printed cross stood out freshly on the breast pocket.

“Battle can have two outcomes,” Faith answered, still attracted to the unconscious deputy, enchanted like one is when watching a crackling fireplace. “Beating an opponent to submission or meeting fierce resistance. A soft touch, however, cannot be stopped by armor. It will always bring people to their knees. We crave love. It’s in our nature…”

“You offered her your heart?” Joseph asked, a twitch in his lips as he smiled. “Your _affections_?”

“An empty promise,” Faith confessed with a sigh, turning her attention to him. “A kiss here and there. A long embrace. Being told she was wanted in return… they’re all like a fish.”

Joseph waited for Faith to finish, crossing his arms.

“All of them. Men, women… everyone I’ve brought in who once denied us. Lured by what they think is a meal, just to be hooked for slaughter.”

“And what do you plan to do with your catch?”

Faith’s face became puzzled at the question. “Well, that decision is yours, Father. I know I caught her, but she has caused us both so much pain and trouble. What can we do to honor those she has taken from us? To honor John?”

Joseph took steps forward to gaze down upon Alana and thought.

“Heal her, keep her here. We want her to adapt, to engage. If she does, we will spread the news of her choosing Eden’s Gate to all the other non-believers. If she does not, if she is too resistant and rejects change, do what you do to the others. Make her an angel. Either way, she will be made an example.”

“Yes, Father,” Faith answered chipperly, watching the Chosen open the door for Joseph.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Joseph stopped, his hands on the doorframe. “I’m proud of you, Faith.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“You’ve worked hard, and it has paid off. But if you fail to keep her safe it will have been all for nothing. Do not celebrate too soon. The Resistance will have figured out where she is by now. If they take her, Faith… if they find a way in somehow-”

“They won’t,” Faith interrupted to reassure him. He frowned at her for her manners, and resumed.

“What I’m saying is, your work isn’t over. I still mean what I said earlier. I’d like to keep you as our Faith. Don’t let me down.”

“I won’t, Father.” 

* * *

When Alana woke up again, she had a different guest in the chair next to her bed.

“You’re up!” Said the figure that was slowly becoming less and less blurry. “When they told me you had arrived, I couldn’t believe it! I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Marshal Burke?” Alana asked. “We… we’ve been looking for you…”

“Well you’ve found me now,” Burke grinned heartily.

“Burke, we’ve got to…” Alana stopped. _That… that’s not my life anymore. I don’t have to take the Marshal back. I… get to stay here._

Something twisted in her stomach as those words traveled in her mind.

“I’ve made a mistake,” Alana said quickly. “Burke, we’ve gotta get out of here.”

The Marshal’s face fell, worry and fear behind his eyes.

“I thought you chose?” He asked. “I thought you listened? I thought you _heard_ what Faith had to say?”

“I did, I did, but this… I can’t. This is wrong. I have to go back.”

Burke stood up from the chair, his brows knitting in frustration. “No, Rook, that’s just that conditioning talking. What everyone else says, what everyone else expects. You were free, Rook! You were free, and you know it. You let them go and chose your own path. Don’t fall back now!”

“Burke, this isn’t about what people say, it’s just what’s true.” Alana moved her IV arm up to her other hand, which was nestled in the sling. With discomfort, she ripped the needle out. With legs weighing 100 tons, she swung herself to the edge of the bed. “It’s the wrong choice.”

“Rook!” Burke shouted deliriously, raising his arms up in frustration. “What’s wrong is fighting someone else’s fight, what’s wrong is taking orders from people who won’t fight beside you, who won’t care about what happens to you. Everyone here, Rook, everyone here cares about what happens to the other. Everyone loves. No one loves out there. It’s just anger and competition and errands and…” he dropped his arms, exasperated. “A life out there… it’s choosing to not live your life. It’s choosing to lose the right of free will to let someone be your puppet master. Puppet masters live, puppets don’t. They lose their shot. You only live once, Rook, and choosing to go back out means choosing to waste your life to be a tool!”

“What do you think happens here?” Alana shouted back. “You think no one in this entire damn cult is following someone else’s orders? Ever heard of _Joseph Seed_? He’s not a shepherd, he’s a puppet master.”

“You’re wrong,” The Marshall shook his head firmly, “He lets us choose our path. We can choose to fight, choose to build, choose to feed and clothe. Choose to live. If you go back out there, the only choice you’ll be given is what gun to take.”

Alana tried to move for the door, but Burke blocked her.

“Are you going to throw everything away?” Burke asked. “Joseph’s love?”

“I could give a damn less about that man,” Alana grunted, trying to pull him away from the door, but it was impossible with one good arm.

“ _Faith’s love_?” Burke’s voice cut deep with judgement, stopping Alana, her hand letting go of his vest.

“What are you talking about?” Alana asked, playing dumb even though her ears burned.

“You think I don’t know?” he scoffed, “You think no one knows? No one has received such attention from her the way you have. Why would she go through so much trouble to reach out to you when you’ve killed John? Everyone called for your blood when they heard the news. Shot down from the sky and chased to the ground. But Faith said no. Told everyone you were worth saving. You killed and you killed and you killed, yet every time she addressed us, she had this sparkle in her eye. She even waited at your bedside waiting for you to wake! You have something special and you’re throwing it away.”

The thought of Faith loving her both terrified and enamored her. “She doesn’t love me…” she tried to say, but her mind couldn’t shake the Siren’s most recent doting, the chase through the Bliss fields, the baptism for crying out loud.

“She does, and you’re going to break her heart.”

_Fuck_ , Alana rested her head against Burke’s shoulder, rapidly falling to defeat. She didn’t want to see Faith hurt, she didn’t want to lose her affection, to _earn_ her hatred. She remembered all the times she looked for the Siren’s appearance each time she got locked in a firefight with the cult.

But she had to leave. It was the right thing to do… right?

“You’re right…” Alana murmured. She felt Burke’s arms wrap around her in sympathy, and probably relief. “I think… I think my mind is just cloudy. Too much morphine, too much Bliss. I need a little bit of fresh air… can we go for a walk? At least in a hallway or something?”

“I don’t see why not,” The Marshall said. “I can take you right outside the gate, if you’d like. Get some air. Faith lets us step out from time to time, as long as we stay within sight of the guards operating the gate.”

Alana chuckled darkly. “How parental.”

“You joke, but she just wants to make sure that we can run back in if the Resistance tries to take up back. Come on, follow me.”

Alana tried to remain calm as she watched Burke open the room door, spinning the door wheel with ease. The second they made it out, she planned to bail. Run as fast and far as she could. As they walked through the halls, Alana took in as much as she could. Faith’s bunker was strangely ambient and enjoyable, the atmosphere of earth reclaiming metal something she could see herself tolerating in an apocalypse. People watched them pass with the awe of a celebrity, making Alana nervous. It would only be a matter of time before word got out to Faith that she had left her bed.

“Can we pick it up a bit?” Alana asked, “I’m feeling real dizzy. I need fresh air quick.”

“You sure walking faster won’t make you more faint?” Burke asked.

“Nah,” Alana said, taking the initiative to set their new pace.

When they made it to the interior of the gate, the guards gazed upon them in the same starstruck manner.

“Open the gate please?” Burke asked one of them. “Just a few moments of fresh air.”

“That’s uh… that’s the deputy,” the guard responded. “Shouldn’t she be resting?”

“I’ve been in bed for like twelve hours, I don’t fucking know,” Rook grumbled, feeling her mind and body de-fog, pain beginning to sting in her shoulder. It felt like her wound was growing in size, but she knew it was simply just her brain registering it for the first time since impact. “It’s just for a few seconds, come on. I feel so sick and I know some air will help.”

The guard looked to his companions, who shrugged.

“Fine…” he said, turning back. “But just remember that once the Collapse comes there will be no opening of the gates until our Heralds say it’s safe.”

Alana grunted in irritation, but said no more, watching the guard operate the console to open the gates, the metal hinges groaning as the wings opened slowly.

“Just a few seconds,” The guard warned. “And don’t go any further than where the Bliss mist stops, got it?”

“Yes, thank you so much, you’re the best,” Alana said quickly, her eyes widening at the sight of the bright stars in the navy sky. To hide some of her urgency, she painfully waited for Burke to go first, following him outside.

The dry grass crunched beneath their feet, and Burke put his hands on his hips as he looked about, taking in a deep breath of air. There was the sound of gunfire and car engines in the distance, but that was the norm now.

“It does feel good to come out,” Burke admitted, nodding to himself.

Rook could feel her body tingle with weakness, her legs doubtful of their ability to carry her if she ran. The medicine’s affect was leaving her rapidly, and the Bliss could only do so much in relaxing her. But it was dark, and she was wearing dark clothes, and her hair was a rich brown, and this would aid her in the reduced visibility of night. She breathed in deeply, trying a tactical method to relax her, timing her escape in five, four, three-

The sound of engines approached rapidly, and within the blink of an eye, a caravan of resistance quads and trucks crossed through the road. It was an awfully large patrol, in Alana’s opinion, but there’d be time to think about that later.

“Hey!” Alana shouted, taking her chances and waving her hand in the air. Burke snapped to look at her in disbelief at the exact time most of the Resistance members turned their head to look. “It’s me! It’s me Alana! Deputy Rook! Help!”

“Alana, what are you doing?” Burke shouted. “Go! Back! Back in the bunker!”

“No!” Alana tried to run, but the Marshal grabbed her good arm, yanking her back with so much force she fell backwards, her bottom crashing into the hard ground. “Help!”

The Resistance pulled up rather close and dismounted their quads, running at them as Cultists ran out of the bunker, rifles ready. Bullets ripped across the field from both sides, the flash of muzzles obscuring visibility even though it provided light.

“Rook?” Cried out a voice.

Alana tried to scramble up from the ground, but Burke pulled her up himself.

“To the bunker!” He repeated.

“Joey?” Alana called out frantically, ignoring Burke. “Joey?”

“Rook!” Hudson advanced to the front of the line of fire, recklessly exposing herself. “Oh fuck, the Marshal too? Quick! I need suppressing fire!”

Sheriff Whitehorse was following behind her, “Right behind you, Hudson!” He said, “You get Rook, I’ll get Burke!”

“Rook, come here! Burke, let her go. Come to us!” Hudson demanded, lowering her shotgun as she tried to come closer.

Fire from the cultists’ increased in volume, and a few rounds whistled past Hudson, causing her to stop her direct advance.

“No!” Cried out a new voice, one that pierced Alana’s heart. She looked behind herself, past Burke’s frame as his hand continued to grip her shirt, wide eyed. Emerging from the gates was Faith, clear distress and panic on face. Alana’s throat went dry with guilt.

More cultists arrived at the gate, some angels rushing out, swinging their gardening tools at the Resistance who tried to parry with their rifles.

“Alana, _please_!” Faith begged, “Come back, don’t go!”

The Siren was hiding behind her soldiers, but Alana could tell she was seriously considering rushing out into the field to grab her herself.

“Rook!” Shouted Joey, who was now hiding behind a boulder for cover. “Don’t listen to her!”

“Alana, come back to me,” Faith beckoned, ushering with her hands. “Come home. You know what they’ll make you do. _Please, Alana_.”

“I don’t know what the fuck she’s talking about, Rook,” Joey shouted over the shooting, “But your home is with _us_. You know she’s a liar!”

“Let’s go,” Burke grumbled, successfully dragging the deputy backwards. Alana looked at Faith’s face, pained that she was the reason for such worry and panic. She looked back at Joey, who also showed fear in her eyes. But fear was not Joey Hudson’s master.

“Fuck no you’re not taking her back!” Joey charged, leaving the cover of her boulder and tackled Burke. Both the Marshal and Rook fell to the ground with a thump that made the ground shake. Yanking Alana back up, Joey pulled her to her side, allowing her to rest some weight on her. Whitehorse caught up and grabbed Burke, skillfully handcuffing him before jerking him up.

“Let’s make it back to the truck and call in the retreat back to the jail!” The Sheriff said. “The Cultists don’t seem to have any rides up here, now’s our chance to get!”

“I hear that,” Joey said, “Cover us!”

The Resistance obeyed with consistent firepower.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Joey muttered to Alana, putting her partner in front of her as she turned her back to the Cultists. “Let’s get going, we’re almost there. God, I'm so glad we found you.”

“No! Stop her!” Faith’s voice carried above the fight. Her voice was shrill and almost hoarse. There was too much fear in it, and it made Alana look back one last time. The Cultists tried to advance, but there was too much cover from the Resistance.

“Come on, let’s-” Joey stumbled, falling to a knee. Alana turned instinctively, picking her friend off the ground, her eyes scanning for damage. There was a pool of blood forming on the shin of Joey’s right leg, the stain almost looking a dark purple in the night.

“Shit, Joey, you’ve been shot,” Alana said, offering her own stature for support.

“It’s okay,” Joey grit her teeth, “We can make it, I’ll get patched up at the jail.”

“Stop her! Stop her!” Faith continued to call out. “Please! Alana! Come back! Don’t do this to me!”

But the Cultists were retreating, pulling Faith back into the safety of the bunker. There was fear and worry on their faces as they did their best to respectfully restrain her. It was to protect her, of course, but the Herald ignored most of their pulls.

Before the gates closed completely, solidifying the Cultists’ loss and surrender, Alana could have sworn she could see nothing but fear in the Siren’s perfect green eyes.

Maybe... maybe this was a mistake too? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter than the average chapter for this story, but good length for a chapter in general. 5k words.
> 
> Sorry for the long break, I had a lot of life demands, as I'm sure we all may be going through things in this challenging 2020, but I found some time to write. I think this story has one or two more chapters in it, it really depends on how writing goes. Sometimes it feels like a short scene and then it goes on for thousands of words, and other times things feel long but turn out to be quite a petite essay. Anyway, the point is, it's coming to an end soon haha this was supposed to be a massive one-shot anyway lol
> 
> Please let me know what you think through the comments! They really help me out!  
> Love you and hope you're all safe!

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but it ended up being so long that I felt it would be best to post it in chunks, to give you guys some time to breathe and drink some water. Have a bathroom break too lol
> 
> This fic is about 67% completed, and is about 12k words as a current WIP, so I'm sure you understand why I decided to break it up lol
> 
> Let me know what you think please!! Love you! (yay for being my 50th Fic!)


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